Sometimes I’m An Awkward Lover

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Sometimes I’m an awkward lover

I try to slap your ass & pull your hair

But I don’t always have confidence

But I’m doing my very best down there

But I can promise you one thing, dear

I will love you and only you forevermore

I may be a gentleman at public events

But I’ll be your pirate behind locked doors

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Revisionist’s History Of Love

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Revisionist’s history of love
A small takedown on the front lawn
Society’s matron’s clucking away
Whispers won’t counteract the dawn
She was an embarrassment of riches
Maintaining a look, polished & dapper
She fell in love with images of marble
Though remaining Fitz’s Lost Little Flapper
Never man enough between her sheets
Circumspect when they found her on the grass
A little more disheveled than she preferred
Especially with that skirt that couldn’t cover her ass

I’m A Red-Blooded American

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I’m a red-blooded American
Aroused by red meat & microbrews
I enjoy my lazy suburban days
A swinging hammock; dreams of you
The Great Dane snoring beside me
Hunkered down in the cool green grass
It’s far too hot for movement
I wish you were here to wiggle your ass

I’ve Got My Earbuds In

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I’ve got my earbuds in
I’ve got the music up high
Dancin’ like an idiot
Sensory deprivation – no longer shy
Air guitar shredding tunes
I’m feeling good, cutting this rug
Wobbly knees & popping joints
Eyes closed/goofy look on this mug
But I’ll still give it a go
Silliness my forte – a touch of sass
My own man without regrets
Watch out now, time to move my ass

Knowing The Sun Will Shine Again

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Knowing the sun will shine again
I sit here basking in the midnight air
A quiet sip from my enduring courage
Thinking naughty thoughts of my lady fair
Knowing I can’t sleep when I can write
I fall back into my imaginative stupor
Only to be shook by the dawn’s yawn
Daylight kicks me swift, right in the pooper

Let’s Scale Back The Sass

Let’s scale back the sass
You’re not hot enough to be this mean
Have you tried respect & a smile
Might result in something you’ve never seen
There’s no need to be this crass
People are much better when being kind
I’m not here to judge or criticize
There’re alternative paths, if you don’t mind
Fine, I’ll admit you have a great ass
You can’t always be this bitter & cruel
I’m going to need at least a smirk
Or I’ll be forced to challenge you to a duel

Sometimes I’m An Awkward Lover

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Sometimes I’m an awkward lover
I try to slap your ass & pull your hair
But I don’t always have confidence
But I’m doing my very best down there
But I can promise you one thing, dear
I will love you and only you forevermore
I may be a gentleman at public events
But I’ll be your pirate behind locked doors

Give Me More Of That Of That Golden Perfection

  

Give me more of that of that golden perfection
Cast off anything not worthy of this glass
I do not care for your rants on responsibility
Do what you want, I know the value of a piece of ass
I find myself conflicted, this is a sullen day
Contradicting my words at every other turn
Personal beliefs & those everlasting tastes
Can I fix myself before I eternally burn
I push aside those apocalyptic thoughts
Look out towards those signs of salvation
Please walk with me Lord, I cannot do this alone
Lead me to surpass this decaying creation