Sometimes I’m An Awkward Lover

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Sometimes I’m an awkward lover

I try to slap your ass & pull your hair

But I don’t always have confidence

But I’m doing my very best down there

But I can promise you one thing, dear

I will love you and only you forevermore

I may be a gentleman at public events

But I’ll be your pirate behind locked doors

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Something Fine

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She wasn’t fazed by them looking at her. She had become used to it after the years. At first, it made her uncomfortable, but now she didn’t mind. It would be unfair to say she enjoyed the leers, but she still remembered the times when no one wanted to stare at her. She was tall and awkward, slightly geeky despite being close to thirty.

~

I didn’t listen to the buzz surrounding me. I didn’t care about any of it. I could see her and enjoyed what I saw. The whispered comments from the corners of the room and the crass locker room talk could not destroy what I thought was special. She was a fine woman, nothing but her own-self could tarnish that.

Society has an infectious need to tear down anything positive. It locks in on it and crushes it out of envy, misunderstanding and pure, unadulterated spite. Individual persons can be trusted. People are evil. You can never be sure that groups of three or more won’t try to rip you apart.

~

“Excuse me.” She smiled her demure, yet encouraging smile. I held my coffee high over her head. I didn’t want to spill as she passed by me. It was a tight squeeze, though it wasn’t mandatory she come as close as she did. Her hands on my hips as she shuffled by was definitely an extra bit she threw in.

It lasted for mere seconds, but I never let that memory leave me. A twinkle came to my eye whenever I thought of her. An innocent moment filled with the possibility of so much more. You have to be grateful for these moments. They remind you that you are alive.

I Think You Have The Wrong Notion Of Me

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I think you have the wrong notion of me
I could be wrong, but it’s what I believe
I’m neither the saint nor the villain
In which your thoughts are trying to achieve
I’m not nearly as arrogant as I portray
That’s merely the manifestation of a fictional role
I know confidence is sexy & I’m trying my best
But I have doubts regarding the quality of the contents of my soul

The Devil Is In The Details

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The devil is in the details; at least that’s what they always say to me.  We’re always fighting back, against the grain. Do they know what they’re doing to us? Pressure like this can kill you.  Yes, there’s the off the chance you’ll become a diamond, though the odds are never in your favor. But you have to keep fighting. No one is content when you surrender.  This life is never going to get any easier. They will never believe in you. This is our lot in life. This is what we have to look forward to for the rest of this life. We weren’t born kings or any sort of nobility. We are who we are.  Within that truth, we must find a way to emerge and triumph.

I spend my days walking the land searching for something which may not exist in the first place. I watch the people going about their lives around me. I see the joy in their faces. It reflects from the life they have found for themselves. Mothers pushing children on an afternoon walk.

Is it jealousy brooding within me? I yearn for a simple domestic life. I would like to quit this life on the road. I have lived the gypsy life for too many years. I find myself questioning my own desires. Will I tire of being in one spot too long? The answers to my search do not seem to be available. Life is something to be lived in order to even find those answers. This is just as frustrating as the search in the first place.

I leave those pretty people to their lives. It is out of respect for what they have found. It is a great thing for them. I will keep on searching for my own treasure.

I mean, do I want to complicate my life? Do I want to spend the majority of my life having someone else dependent on me and my abilities? That is a scary thought. Why would I do that to someone? I am not known to be the kindest person in the world, but damn. That borders on cruel and unusual punishment. I am who I am. I’m not proud of that, but it is a fact that I’m coming to terms with. All I’m saying is that it would be better if I stayed away from the rest of the human race. I’m better alone. People seem to be happier when they are away from me. I’m not happy that I’m a pariah. It isn’t simple aesthetics. A shave and a haircut will not alter this equation. A shower and fancy cologne will not make people want to gravitate in my direction. It is how it is and let us embrace it before someone gets their feelings hurt.

Exhale. You get yourself so worked up these days. Is it worth it? C’mon, get out of that bed. We have to get moving. There’s a world out there that hasn’t taken time to notice we haven’t joined in yet. We need to put society on a notice of our own. Take your time, let’s do things right. That’s it, two feet on the ground. Baby steps will lead us to where we need to be. We can do this. Slip your glasses on. Chug some of that water. Let’s get some more of that water.  Let’s go get some coffee into you; black. We don’t have time to waste on that fancy crap. We need to get ready to face the sun that’s been burning for several hours already. We’re going to make it, just you wait and see. They won’t know what hit them.

This will be a great day. Pick out your best outfit. The one that makes you feel the best, the most confident. Then we’re going to scrub away the past. You’ll come out of the shower fresh and new. Visualize being the greatest version of yourself. Make sure you see it first, so you’ll believe it. See what it is that will leave them speechless. This is our chance. This is our time. Let’s just add the finishing touches now.

Pull on those boots. Slip on those sunglasses, with one final glance through the vanity.  Will today be the day?

Her Saturated Sex

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Her saturated sex
Wax; the Summer’s teetering fast
Closing in on her hotel room
Simmering in a passion that’ll make it last
The coast rises out of a dormant state
Sunshine bursting, gentle & warm
Strutting; pure confidence of love
A tightrope of the exaggerated norm

Finding A Smile In Anything

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Finding a smile in anything
She laughs in colorful brightness
A flash of pure happy thoughts
The cool confidence in its lightness
A giggle to the approaching Summer
3 months of adventure lie ahead
You’re wanting passive, demure kids
Mine will cackle, make you walk the plank

Too Cautious For That Rabbit Hole

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The slow silent flattery
Worming it’s way into your ear
Unsure of calculated intent
If you should accept it with fear
Or allow it to swell up & be free
Not much left of your personal pride
Life has chipped away at it
Sinking into a cowering stride

Too cautious for that rabbit hole
But you’re better than that
Deep down you truly know

How much effort have you spent
To be contrary & constantly ignore
The world as it whispers lovely words
Snippets of charm floating to the floor
Standing at an arms distance
Not believing yourself to be Alice
Or any of the princesses of yore
Never dreaming of a shining palace

Too cautious for that rabbit hole
But you’re better than that
Deep down you truly know

Never a confidence
Feeling temptations of the weak
They’re just simple words
Hoping to give an outlook a tweak
Not meant to encumber
Or ransack your existence
But you can’t hinder the words
& their slow penetrating insistence

Confidence To Hang In The Shadows

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Confidence to hang in the shadows
Not trying to soak up the limelight
Society just wants to destroy its heroes
Refuse to honor them with a fight
You can’t win when they distort the facts
All is fair in love & imaginary wars
I’ll take my dreams & integrity
To live a life worth resisting for