I’m Rockin’ This Dad Bod

walking-1081723.jpg

I’m rockin’ this dad bod
& making it look good
Unapologetically localized
Home in Suburban neighborhoods
I’m not trying to distract
Any of the ladies living nearby
I’m just trying to live my life
I’m just a normal boring guy
I’m prematurely grumpy
A hermit; writing down in the dungeon
Devastatingly handsome, locked away
Keep out! – here be a curmudgeon

Advertisements

I Like My Women Like I Like My Beer

lyon-832320.jpg

I like my women like I like my beer
I like them all cold & tall
Derision in the waking hours
Looked upon as vulgar & banal
Searching for motivation
But not finding much success
You’ve set me aside lately
Vulnerable as you quietly undress
Piecing our world together
Trying to find reasons of some sort
Telling me we no longer exist
I’m trying to lend you love & support
Why do you want me to love you
If you’re going to deny me this way
Confused by your bingeing passion
& then a frozen shoulder that betrays

She’s Got That Weirdness Flowing Through Her Veins

tattoos-1209589_1920.jpg

She’s got that weirdness flowing through her veins
She’s got that funk in her domain
She’s got the brains that I admire
& the beauty that I desire
Everything she does is a tad bit funky
I want to be the fellow with her one key
I want to be the one to love her
& have it returned to me and no other
I can tell she is one of a kind
& I can’t seem to get her out of my mind
But that’s cool with me
She’s an image I love to see
When I look at her, I see there’s a freak inside
You never know what will happen until you’ve tried

*this is an old poem from the 90’s. I’m not claiming it’s any good. I just like it.

I’m Not A Digital Lover

boy-366311.jpg

I’m not a digital lover
Asking for hints of your new bra
I can’t compete with airbrushed lies
I’m an outcast; ignored with wounds still raw
Don’t mistake me for society’s goon
Not here to give you a complex or three
I’m not a troll to lure you into submission
I’m just a pirate looking to be free

I Know Why You Don’t Have Panty Lines

vintage-1898388_1280.jpg

 

 

 

I know why you don’t have panty lines
You’re looking great in that pencil skirt
My mind does dizzying things when you smile
I focus on your delectable lips, so moist & pert
I grow quiet – I don’t wish to be taken as a fool
So you don’t notice me, I’m cast off as a clumsy guy
I’ll keep your secrets as you’re mistreated again
All the while, your laundry’s hanging out to dry

I’m Gonna Bust Out With The Tortoiseshell Frames

file-nov-19-06-37-53

I’m gonna bust out with the tortoiseshell frames

I can take a sensual selfie if you please

Come in for a closer look, Lady

Grab my hair while I’m down on my knees

Let me taste your sweet serenity

Forget the boys who don’t know how

It’s not your job to make them men

You’re here, within my clutches now

I Didn’t Mean To Get Too Personal

frill-746127.jpg

I didn’t mean to get too personal
I merely noticed your exposed slip
My thoughts took me to uncharted waters
Thinking of us – alone- a subtle skinny dip
An abandoned wedding gown crumpled
The satin too white against your lace
I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel
Though I could see the muted joy in your face
You kicked off your heels & removed your gloves
Walking too close you whispered ‘yes’ to my surprise
I loosened my tie before you took charge
I’ll never forget how you looked with your laughing eyes

She’s Looking So Fly

blonde-1991084.jpg

 

 

 

 

She’s looking so fly
Perfect 10 on that Instagram feed
Don’t try to sell me anything
Just wanna see her authentic
Cannot compete with a weaponized vagina
An angry & bitter woman
With pent up rage
Who was the boy
To make her this way

I’ve Got My Earbuds In

guy-925532.jpg

I’ve got my earbuds in
I’ve got the music up high
Dancin’ like an idiot
Sensory deprivation – no longer shy
Air guitar shredding tunes
I’m feeling good, cutting this rug
Wobbly knees & popping joints
Eyes closed/goofy look on this mug
But I’ll still give it a go
Silliness my forte – a touch of sass
My own man without regrets
Watch out now, time to move my ass

Do You Find It Difficult To Be Beautiful

girls-1209321.jpg

Do you find it difficult to be beautiful
Are you hassled or looked down upon
Jealousy is a cruel infection to cure
Cast out as it’s own phenomenon
I’m no one of any consequence
Merely a gentleman admirer from afar
I hold no secrets or vials of love potion
I just know a person needs to be needed for who they are