The Rings Spreading Into The Wood






The rings spreading into the wood
A permanent scar within the grain
Memories drip down the side of the glass
Time passed; no longer identify the pain
For that’s not who we ever want to be
Watching the results, the answers disintegrate
Take my hand, forever love my flawed being
Together we’ll protect, no need to self-medicate
We can exist just as we were meant to be
Fear, hate, envy; we don’t want any of those
But rather to be a survivable type of love
I hope we can be honest, happy & fully exposed


Girls With Their Knee-Highs






Girls with their knee-highs
Haute Couture, exposed at the side
But don’t believe everything you see
Smashed & forgotten; a murdered bride
Money left on the nightstand
A life shouldn’t be thrown away for such
Winter comes to erase memories
But down here, it doesn’t take much
She was already cast out, with her upturned jugs
A novelty for these professional suited men
They’ve wiped away (ass-print) the glass
Like she never happened, what will you do then?

Infuriating, Aggravating





Infuriating, aggravating

But you can’t stop thinking about me

You try & you earnestly try

But you let me become a memory

Now, your man refuses to go down

So, you’re forced to use a toy

You dread the realization

You’ve fallen for a silly boy


I Often Catch Myself




I often catch myself
Glancing up at your windowpane
Occasionally seeing your silhouette
Memories of youth still remain

Possibly spying a lacy chemise
But now you’re wearing the curtains
Or maybe there was nothing on
But I couldn’t know for certain

The morning light not quite seen
I might feel like a common creeper
Alternate lifetimes in my mind
Yet I still know you’d be a keeper
I see your beautiful soul hiding
A passionate soul now a mere outline
Locked away in your precious life
I’m sure you’d say you’re doing fine

Possibly spying a lacy chemise
But now you’re wearing the curtains
Or maybe there was nothing
But I couldn’t know for certain

I see boundaries in your thought
I’m not intending to be rude
You can make your own decisions
I don’t wish to trespass nor intrude
You’re the princess in your castle
Not a figment of my invention
Locked eyes before you looked away
Somehow grateful for the attention


Red Lights

 “Prepare to darken ship. Let no white light shine topside.” The loud speakers called out the same thing every afternoon before the sun went below the horizon. Life on a Navy ship is most remarkably characterized by the glowing red lights within the ship at night. Red light doesn’t travel as far to other ships, which would give away its position.

 Corey Simmons always grew more anxious walking around the ship at night. He always over thought things at night. The red lights made it worse. The dulling of his senses walking through the pitch black into the red areas creeped him out. It put him on edge.

 He was walking the passageway from his shop to his berthing. The red lights are spaced out every twenty feet or so. That allows for darkness to be spaced out every twenty feet as well. the red and black rippled down the ship’s interior. In one of the black areas, Corey hit his shoulder on a large electrical box. “Shit.” He rubbed his shoulder as he kept walking. Corey came to the end of the passageway. There was only a locked hatch. “Fuck man.” He looked around. He missed a turn or a ladder well. Turning around, he went back the way he came. He didn’t recognize where he was. Corey went down the first ladder well he came to. The aluminum ladder shook violently with each step. It made much more noise than you’d expect on a steel ship. Then again, steel toed boots aren’t the lightest of footwear. He still didn’t know where he was. That wasn’t so uncommon on a ship this size. He cursed himself for not remembering the frame and hatch numbering system. He should be able to use it to find his way anywhere on the ship. He walked for two or three minutes more, taking various turns and trying to find a familiar hatch or landmark within the ship. Most of the water-tight hatches were ‘dogged down’ to prevent water intrusion in case of flooding. That was rare these days, but precautions were always taken. 

 Corey could feel himself getting frustrated. He started to sweat more the longer he was lost. When was the last time he even saw someone else? Even though it was the middle of the night, someone else should be walking through these passageways. His anxiety was beginning to rise. Corey began to overthink the situation. His breath became short. Then he became light headed. He knelt down and put his head on the cold metal floor. 

 Dark thoughts began to enter his head. He thought about all the negative aspects of his life, about how he always felt inferior. There was a lot of bravado in his daily life. He overcompensated for having a low self-esteem. He began to think of past sins and indiscretions. He thought of that summer in college when he swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills to try to kill the pain. With self-loathing, Corey kept drudging up the past. He knew God. He knew he believed in God. He believed that he was forgiven of his past. Corey just couldn’t find a way to forgive himself.

 In a moment of clarity, Corey remembered being young, maybe six or seven. The neighbor kid, Nathan something or other. He thought it might have started with an ‘A’. Corey remembered Nathan touching him and making Corey touch him in return. Nathan must have been thirteen or maybe a little older. Nathan made him go into a closet in the garage. It was dark in there. Corey was scared, so he did as he was told. 

 Corey didn’t know why he was remembering this now. He wished he hadn’t remembered. He wished he could forget it. He could feel tears roll down his cheeks. He cried until he passed out.

 What must have been hours later…

 “Dude!” Corey felt someone kick his shoes. “You can’t sleep here. Simmons, get the fuck up.” He felt another kick. Corey opened his eyes to see white lights all round him. They were bright. They hurt his eyes.

 “Sorry.” he said. Corey looked down at his watch. He was late for morning quarters.


A Spinning Beauty Upon The Mirror


A spinning beauty upon the mirror
In a perfect white dancing gown
A pirouette for all eternity’s memory
A lady of such illustrious renown
A sunny smile in the cold, cold air
Our frozen ballerina silently wept
Whispering French words softly
Freedom tasted when she first stepped


Reading Dog Eared Love Letters


Reading dog eared love letters
Smelling of her French perfume
Longing to be with her again
Clinging to memories, I consume
The candlelight quietly fading
The only sound is my pen’s scratch
Scribbling missives & shanties
Acknowledged beauty, she’s quite the catch


Which Ones Were The Good Ones


Which ones were the good ones
Memories lost through time & space
Disenchanted moments fallen away
Disappointed lovers – we can’t be replaced
Life wasn’t always sunny back then
But we lose that in history’s gleam
Taking on a more appealing connotation
Lonely hours; that’s when we’re overcome by dreams


Standing Quietly With The Cool Air Creeping


Standing quietly with the cool air creeping
Clickedy-clackedy of the mechanical keys
An accountability of evasive thought
Vulnerable notions of varying degrees
Looking for a grip of nostalgia
Something to shake loose my memories
Pulling tight my old man cardigan
Watching for the magic from within the trees


I Can’t Be What They Want


I can’t be what they want
I’m merely a broken soul
With memories that haunt
Restless when the moon is full
& pretty girls that taunt
But it was more than my heart they stole