False Attempts At The Old Scottish Jig

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False attempts at the old Scottish jig
Distant past lingering – nothing wise
She was never the heroine you always needed
Finally gave up after all those tries
Beauty’s eye was never truly blind
Having been lied to, left you distraught
Perpetual cycles now cold & mean
Never the quality you had always thought
Smile inward, you are the crowned victor
Playing their game with the cards dealt
Karma worms its way into a deserving soul
They’ll never know how your true love felt

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College Magnetic Poetry Vol. 1

I eat her peach, like it was a screaming bed
Rob lathered her pink butt, like I said
She urges me to lick the bare breasts, or no head
They want the mist under the dress, and she is red
I cry, but think those rose petals are like a knife
My woman moans as we fall with spring through life
Smell sweet honey like a purple forest o’ eggs
He sees my finger smear next to the smooth hot leg
Watching two girls waxin’ & milkin’ without you
The gorgeous goddess needs his languid tongue to be true
Deliriously drunk & a repulsive moment recalls an ugly day
I felt the beauty whispering lust, wanting to play
Sweat leaves my apparatus juicy and shiny, always beating it away
Frantic spray floods the luscious garden from behind
Trying to swim beneath a language o’ an elaborate mind
Winter crushes drool over lovely eyes
On top, producing no sleep as we lie
Together, eternity is an essential chain
Manipulating me through bitter rain
Mothers can ask to stop, but still get to blow
I pound your fluff and then must go
Getting shot in some hair is easy when you are not above
Shadows o’ their enormous size is what you vision and love

Circa 1998

*Author’s Note: I feel I should explain this mess. It was written in college on a buddy’s fridge with the non-x-rated magnetic poetry. It is horribly juvenile and I love it all the more for that reason.

Hot Moms & Their Fancy Paychecks

Hot moms & their fancy paychecks

You’re nothing but a bartender’s dream

Playing your most important role

All your fantasies down by the stream

It’s all an image, but no substance

No longer is there anything real

Our value system fallen into disrepair

Anything left that you wish to feel

I Once Had A Chicken That Went Meow

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I once had a chicken that went meow

I need to go I need to get out now

They’re after me you must understand

Please help me, gimme a hand

I’m constantly having to watch my back

To keep them from giving me the smack

Soon I’ll be taking flight

I’ll be gone before the night

The moon still shines in the day

It’s part of their sinister plan

When they get me, I’ll say

Who’s you, man?!

Sun, beaches & waves

To save yourself you must be brave

I must not make a sound

Or else I’ll be found

They’ll torture me till I’m blue

I’ll cry & scream out to you

Would you come rescue me

Would you come set me free

My childhood comes wanting to play

How long till oppression they will ban

Soon my mind will stray

& I’ll say, who’s you, man?!

Circa 2000

Springtime Popping Outside

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Springtime popping outside
Listening to my Celtic tunes
Grateful for a house to clean
Reports of rain coming soon
Darling damsels at my feet
Enjoying these warmer days
Dancing with pointed toes
Laughing as we let the bagpipes play

False Attempts At The Old Scottish Jig

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False attempts at the old Scottish jig
Distant past lingering – nothing wise
She was never the heroine you always needed
Finally gave up after all those tries
Beauty’s eye was never truly blind
Having been lied to left you distraught
Perpetual cycles now cold & mean
Never the quality you had always thought
Smile inward, you are the crowned victor
Playing their game with the cards dealt
Karma worms its way into a deserving soul
They’ll never know how your true love felt

You Think You Need

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You think you need
Everything polished and packaged
Nary a wisp or a stray note to linger
Jealousy breeds contempt
Searching for a digital praise
But perfection is a myth
A trick played upon us by lesser Devils

Lost In The Frozen Night

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Lost in the frozen night

This city doesn’t even know my name

I’ll escape back into my drink

Ice melting, still won’t play her game

My single cherry from the tree

Fallen but not so ready to fight

Your perfect plaid skirt in my eye

I miss you & wish for you each night

Push me away to wink your baby blues

My heart crushed with this distance

Come be the warmth at my side

Love me at my every insistence