The Summer Is Sweltering

The summer is sweltering

I’m trying to survive, so I have nothing on

The neighbor lady won’t stop staring

Perhaps I shouldn’t be out here watering my lawn

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I’m Rockin’ This Dad Bod

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I’m rockin’ this dad bod
& making it look good
Unapologetically localized
Home in Suburban neighborhoods
I’m not trying to distract
Any of the ladies living nearby
I’m just trying to live my life
I’m just a normal boring guy
I’m prematurely grumpy
A hermit; writing down in the dungeon
Devastatingly handsome, locked away
Keep out! – here be a curmudgeon

Living In A John Hughes Movie

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Living in a John Hughes movie
Suburbia laid out before me
I don’t look the outlaw type
Head of this house; I’m still free
But a simmering rebellion within
Thoughts not transferred in awhile
Preparing for this revolution
But it’s my typewriter, flair & my preppy style

I’m A Red-Blooded American

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I’m a red-blooded American
Aroused by red meat & microbrews
I enjoy my lazy suburban days
A swinging hammock; dreams of you
The Great Dane snoring beside me
Hunkered down in the cool green grass
It’s far too hot for movement
I wish you were here to wiggle your ass

Waking Up Next To The Woman I Love

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Waking up next to the woman I love
Morning coffee, time to take Jennings for a walk
Suburban life – an unexpected dream
Watching my beautiful family like a hawk
A simple life stolen from me
Sailing this ocean so I can be released
Living that life only through letters
Freedom will come & I’ll cherish every piece

Just A Suburban Housedad

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Just a suburban housedad
Toting the kids in a station wagon
There’s no concept of cool left
Listening to Jerry slay the dragon
I’m just trying to live my life
Please keep your drama to your own
High school wasn’t fun the first time
Trust me, that coop’s been flown

In my head, there’s a lil ditty
Feet keep moving even if its not pretty

Oblivious to my surroundings
Because I truly don’t care
My priority is this family
Perfectly content in my own lair
Never apologizing for being me
Many have been justly infuriated
I just smile & nod
Truth is I’m quite understated

In my head, there’s a lil ditty
Feet keep moving even if its not pretty

Suburban queens & their diamond rings

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Suburban queens & their diamond rings

Thinking sparkling possessions are theirs

The object of so many men’s thoughts

Lustful fantasies in each of their stares

Primped, dolled & dressed to the nines

These bodies merely trophy wives to be stressed

They hold no special value for society

Beyond the contents under their dress