Inside Out

 

“She pulled up beside me in her Suburban Assault Vehicle, that way she could literally look down on the world around her.

I could instantly tell she was a beautiful woman, at least physically. There was no mistaking that, even with the severe look on her face. I couldn’t see a trace of a smile, just a blank expression.

She had taken care to make sure she was put together correctly. You could tell that there was a right way and a wrong way to everything. She was outfitted in the typical suburban yoga uniform.

It felt like the announcement that she took yoga classes was more important than the actual lifestyle choice and health benefits. Everything about her dripped with insincerity.

I tried to offer her a polite, friendly smile. Maybe she needed some kindness to break down the stress in her life.

The glare was epic. Her disdain for me being of the lower classes was almost tangible. I could tell she wholeheartedly believed she was superior to me in every way. She didn’t know the first thing about me, yet there she was being snobbish.

She tucked her yoga mat under one arm and grabbed her water bottle that cost about a half a day’s wage for me.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her pants were on inside out.”

 

 

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I took a sip of my coffee. It had finally cooled. The white, plastic lid was covered in the froth which had bubbled out of the hole.

“Did that really happen? It sounds like anyone one of those weird stories you write. Particularly the ones that don’t really have a point.”

“No, I promise, Scout’s Honor. I went to get a hair cut this morning and fate would have our path’s cross. Lucky for me, I was able to meet such a charming creature.”

“You’re a weirdo.”

“Probably.”

 

 

  • previously posted in an alternate universe
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She’s Got That Weirdness Flowing Through Her Veins

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She’s got that weirdness flowing through her veins
She’s got that funk in her domain
She’s got the brains that I admire
& the beauty that I desire
Everything she does is a tad bit funky
I want to be the fellow with her one key
I want to be the one to love her
& have it returned to me and no other
I can tell she is one of a kind
& I can’t seem to get her out of my mind
But that’s cool with me
She’s an image I love to see
When I look at her, I see there’s a freak inside
You never know what will happen until you’ve tried

*this is an old poem from the 90’s. I’m not claiming it’s any good. I just like it.

I Fell Out Of Jerry’s Beard

I fell out of Jerry’s beard
That trip was critical & weird
Pushin’ the limit in this life
Don’t confuse me with strife
Keep your learned looks
I’ll steal a trove of books
Answers come when they please
Send me back to sail the seas
I’ll dry off at the Westward Ho!
For it is still all who you know