The Truth About Women’s Feet

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Love wrapped around my mind like a shroud

Full of colors, spectrums & radiant splashes

Not a day without engulfing sunshine

Blinded by pantyhose & false eyelashes

I believed in the fairytale courtships

Sipping champagne from glass slippers

Lovely damsels in need of gentlemen

Revealed to be crude strumpet strippers

My soul could not take this detail

Where was my love with elegant class

Distraught in this new reality

Stuck on feet made for crystal glass

How could my dreams unravel so

This giving me pause to think

Now I understand the truth

That women’s feet actually stink

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I Like My Women Like I Like My Beer

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I like my women like I like my beer
I like them all cold & tall
Derision in the waking hours
Looked upon as vulgar & banal
Searching for motivation
But not finding much success
You’ve set me aside lately
Vulnerable as you quietly undress
Piecing our world together
Trying to find reasons of some sort
Telling me we no longer exist
I’m trying to lend you love & support
Why do you want me to love you
If you’re going to deny me this way
Confused by your bingeing passion
& then a frozen shoulder that betrays

I’m Not Christian Grey

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I’m not Christian Grey
I don’t have money to burn
Women shouldn’t be bought
A point I easily discern
I don’t care how you live
But quit preaching of your escapades
I will never judge or condemn, but
I’m exhausted by your 50 shades
I don’t want the cameras rolling
Don’t need you to be impressed
For eternal happiness, I’ll bet
That vanilla sex might actually be best

*Author’s note: Just a little fun here. I’m not disparaging anyone’s lifestyle. I’m just trying to have some fun. I don’t care how you get laid, I just hope you do! 💋💚

**PS: If this offends you, perhaps you need a good spanking for taking yourself too seriously! 😉

Ponderosa Pine / Vanilla Latte

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Ponderosa pine / vanilla latte
Gravensteins falling from my eyes
New world ideals coming to roost
Spring’s leaves rustle up & die
Nature overcoming this city life
Count a penny twice before you call
She could have been a shining beauty
Left alone with nothing to do but bawl
The mountain stands watch by night
Stoic wagon-wheels to be forever spared
Dealing with relics & antique china
Listening, but never knew you cared
Revisiting vast ideas in the flames
Savor my kiss, for they will be few
(I don’t know) how to talk to single women
You’ll be self-indulgent when you’re through

Pour Me Some Scotch

Pour me some scotch, I’ll tell you a story
This one full of thriving drunken louts
Seafaring strangers searching for loose women
Under these conditions, love is often on the outs
Ladies and gentlemen, please let me continue
Twas not I, for the saloon singer’s song
Melted her heart & it not my fault
You cannot blame me for his doing wrong
I too was blinded by the sparkle of the ring
I too was victim when that ship went down
Tilt your eyes back to who you know it is
In the dark corner of midnight rests the sad clown